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UMCP Hawaiian Theme Gone Bad
Posted by #43 Will Miller at 10-02-1999 11:30 PM
Friday evening during the North Woods Dining Hall's "Hawaiian theme", a lone, innocent pineapple was kidnapped and consequently murdered by an unknown assailant. The dining staff was astonished that anyone could get to the victim and leave without anyone noticing. They suspect that the fruit was indeed held against its will under one of the tables until the kidnapper had finished eating, when he proceeded to leave through the main entrance."I don't see how he could've got out... we have airtight security," said Denton dining service manager. "We have our best men working on a plan to prevent this from happening at our next Hawaiian theme night, scheduled for October 29th." "Our only clue to the identity of the kidnapper was a large group of students laughing their asses off, saying 'krad, you're the man'. Their cryptic speach will have to be analyzed by someone with a college education." The body was found on the sidewalk on the west side of Denton Hall early Saturday morning, suspectedly thrown from a stairwell window. A wake will not be held, as the body was accidently thrown into a dumpster by campus services. « replies »
UMCP Hawaiian Theme Gone Bad
Post #5744 by #9 k-rad at 10-02-1999 11:54 PM
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Gotta give mad props to Spaz (#949) for the actual murder. The whole operation was pretty slick, despite Pat (#1000) and Anante playing catch with it across the table. Next time, that straw hat is mine.
Also: in an act of disgusting canabalism, Cheez picked up a piece of the pulverized pineapple and decided to eat it. Hey Cheez, if you get lucky you'll get a disease!
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